From The Inside Looking Out

It is never fun being in the middle. I see all sides and I am helpless in trying to solve the dilemmas hanging in the balance all around me. I have neither the power nor the opportunity to bring all involved parties onto the same page. Even if I had that kind of power, I’m sure that I would not be taken up on my offer. You see, people like to hold on to their beliefs. They often don’t want to have to change how they feel about a person or situation because those feelings are serving them well. To change their feelings would require that they change their behavior, and who wants to do that?

I have seen it so many times. People get hurt and they hold on to their opinions of the other person. They don’t realize they are holding grudges and might even be under the impression that the past has no effect on their future dealings together. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. And yes, I am just as guilty. When a person is hurt, trust goes out the window, and in my opinion you almost never get it back. It is one thing to forgive a person so that you can move on into the present but it never erases the memories of what has happened. Ah, if only we could live with the “Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.” Perhaps then we would be able to truly move on and learn to trust again, but we can’t live in a movie world. Still, there is one thing on earth that is within our reach, and that is God.

God can move mountains. No really, He can because I’ve seen it. My mother didn’t talk to me for 12 years and now she is back in my life. I had given up; I was convinced I would never hear from her again. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life but I think the biggest one I made with my mom was failing to understand and heed her advice. It wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I think I finally started to fully understand and appreciate the wisdom she had and could offer me. It wasn’t until I turned my life over to Christ that I finally had enough sense to pray for healing in my heart and for hers.

The details of how my mom and I started talking again is another testimony altogether. For now, know that Jesus is there and that He alone can mend broken hearts. Does my mom trust me 100% now? No, but we are all a work in progress and I pray for healing in her life. For me, I have shed the demons that remind me of my past hurts, those that kept me bottled in the misery of loss and estrangement. I just don’t live there anymore because my focus is on God and no matter what happens in life, I know that He has a hand in it because it will glorify Him in some way. This is also true of those things that happened in my past.

We all make mistakes. We all fail to communicate properly and then assume the worst about other people. We often just can’t seem to get it right. Being Christian means that we should be giving others the benefit of the doubt or at least trusting that God has a purpose in your current trial. I honestly think that most people are decent and mean no harm to others.

If you are having a hard time trusting someone or you find yourself always thinking the worst about their intentions, stop and think: what if God felt that way about you? What if Jesus had decided you weren’t worth dying over because you made mistakes? He didn’t ask for us to be trustworthy. He didn’t ask us to even be loving but we owe it to Him for the sacrifice that He made. We were made in God’s image and that is the picture of love.

The Bible says to love others the way you would want them to love you. I challenge you instead to love them the way that God loves you: unconditionally. Don’t put them on the cross before you will put your faith in them as was the case with Jesus. We, as a society, are in enough pain.

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