Do You Submit To Your Husband?

Someone posed a great question to me today, and in responding to them, I started thinking about the role of a woman in marriages, and how it can reflect our heart for Jesus. Here’s what I had to say…

Question: What do u think of this a couple has a 2 month old child and the wife wants to go out to a coworkers party which she did even though the Husband isn’t agreeing with it?

Answer: Hi there. Well, there are two things here. One, the wife probably needs a break. If going to the party is a way for her to relax and have a little harmless fun, but there are concerns about how they decide to have fun then they should look at other options for her to relax and have some fun.

Two: It is never wise for one person in the marriage to do something just because they want to, especially when their spouse discourages it. Both should be honest and communicate their reasons. The party is there to serve a need. Find out the need and address it in a healthy manner without causing divisions in the marriage. That takes work on both parts.

In the end, people unfortunately will sometimes do what they want and we have to find a way to move past the hurt, feelings of disrespect, and bridge communication again. It isn’t easy – it requires time and both have to willingly take steps to rebuild trust. I say both because the woman who went to the party is likely angry herself, thinking the husband doesn’t care about her and her needs, even in situations where alcohol or drugs were to be at said party. It still comes down to feelings hurt on both sides and the need to acknowledge and apologize for failing each other.

I hope this helps. My husband has been there where his ex did many things he discouraged. I respect and listen to my husband, even if I don’t understand his reasons. For me, it comes down to faith that my husband is seeing something I’m not seeing. It takes a strong sense of self and respect to lay your desires down but that is what we do continuously at the foot of Jesus.

The bible says to submit to our husbands, and for a woman, doing so prepares our hearts to receive Jesus. How can we lay our lives down for Jesus if we cannot do it for our husbands? For the sake of our families? To be a woman is to sacrifice and Jesus is our great example.

I don’t know if this is a real example in your life but marriages all over the world suffer when women do not understand why they have to submit to their husbands. I will pray for your relationships and pray that communication and respect prevail, that Jesus is properly placed before you, and that your heart is open to the will of God for the sake of your family. God bless you.


For more information about Kristeen Nicole Gillooly, her music and her ministry, please visit http://www.kngmusicministry.com. You can also visit her artist website at http://www.kristeennicolegillooly.com. 

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6 thoughts on “Do You Submit To Your Husband?

  1. I believe that God was talking about healthy relationships when he said wives submit to your husband’s. This had long been a bible topic misunderstood by both husband and wife. You did a good job of helping it along. Thanks for a great post.

    Much love Tom

  2. It is difficult to give useful advice based off of one side of the story. From the past tense, we already know that she went to the co-worker’s party anyway. So talking about submission really isn’t going to help the situation. I would, however, suggest that the husband and wife do communicate. Why was the party a problem? Was the husband jealous? Was he upset to be stuck watching the kid? Did he also want to go? People are pretty social, I totally see the need of of the wife to re-connect with her friends at work. Imagine how you would feel if the roles were reversed, the husband went to a party that you had a problem with – how would you feel?

    Submission works only so far as both couples are Christians. Even then, it’s half of the verse – the rest goes like this: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” If you applied this verse, to their situation, the husband should love his wife and give up his anger over the party. He should have wished her well and watched the two month old without complaint.

  3. That was well said. Submit simply means to yield. It is extremely difficult to have a relationship with a man if you are unwilling to ever yield. In modern day talk we would simply call it compromise or acknowledging the needs of another. It’s a bit funny, but yes, women sometimes do have an issue with that.

  4. Thank you for writing this. This is one of the main things I really struggled with entering into my marriage, and is still something I work on often. Your opinion and view was fresh and clear cut, unlike in my premarital counseling where they just said, “You do it because God said to.” Good work, fellow blogger.

    1. Very interesting. It’s good to hear from someone that was just told to do it. I think a lot of the Gospel people remember like that, feeling it’s a bunch of commands without really understanding why they exist. It honestly was a revelation today while I was writing. I will say that my husband gave me good pointers about the subject when we first met and got saved. I used to be one of those people that scoffed at the idea of bowing down to my husband. I realize now that that could only happen if I made my husband my idol. I’m never really bowing to his will but to the will of God. I understand now that my husband has the responsibility of leading my family to Christ, and with that I have to support him in that great task.

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