I thought I would feel better. I thought that I would sing tonight, lifting praise to Jesus with my voice, and feel like I accomplished something. Instead, I kind of feel like a failure. I know, I know… it doesn’t make sense. If I’m singing for Jesus wholeheartedly, how could I have failed? Well, honestly… I feel like I failed to bring people to Him tonight. I feel like I failed to garner enough attention to even get people to see what He’s about. There is something else too, another way I failed him, and it’s a yucky five-letter word. Pride.
I know better than to let myself get in the way of what Jesus is trying to do. I also know that this isn’t about me at all. I work so hard to leave myself behind so that Jesus can shine through but the world likes to sneak in and remind me of my humanity. Pesky little thing. Lord, I pray that you take away my selfishness, that you strip away every desire that would reward me instead of rewarding you. I pray that you shatter my pride, and replace it with reverence for the shame you encountered on your way to the cross. Every drop of blood you spilled for my life, but knowing this means my life is no longer my own. Keep me humble oh Lord, and forgive me my transgressions. I seek only to know you better, love you stronger, and keep the world forever at bay. Amen.