It’s Not Just Pain


Lord, I need you every day as I fight each and every aspect that comes with being in pain all the time. I need you, and many more need you, many more that are enduring the same tortures that I am. Lord, be with us in the worst moments, and when we are in such pain that we cannot speak, please let our tears be our cry to you. In Jesus name I pray. Amen. 

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Fighting to Breathe


While sitting here a few minutes ago reading Psalm 143, I endured the most excruciating pain in my side. It caused me to have trouble breathing, and I fought the devil literally to read aloud each word in that Psalm from start to finish until I found peace at the end. 

Some aspects of my pain comes and goes in waves, but while the tides I endure are sometimes scary and seemingly unrelenting, in my heart I know that Jesus is with me every step of the way. He will never fail me. And I will never give up on Him, never give up trusting up with the plan He has for my life. I pray that your faith is able to endure the hardships as well to the point of understanding how you are being used for His kingdom. 

Psalm 143:8 KJV

“Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.”

I Miss The Old Me


I’m laying down because I need rest

But the dogs are barking

The kids are screaming

My stomach is hurting

My body is jerking

My head is hurting

My conscience is guilty

And my heart is heavy. 

I miss the old me

That played with the dogs

That did things with the kids

That worked out my body

That always used my head

That had a clean conscience

And a heart full with joy.  

Lord, be with me. 

My Own Psalm

Overwhelmed

Nothing’s working

Wasting my time

Cause no one’s looking

They may care

They may not

But no matter what

Only You can decide

So I sit here and cry

Call out your name

Pull away from the stares

Try to look past the pain

Tired and worn

Why must I sit here

Be forced to question

The strength in Your name

I know You’re good

I know Your grace

But I’m falling down

Into an empty space

Spinning, stumbling,

How much longer

Do I have to wait

To escape the thunder?

I need You, Lord

I sit here and pray

Why can’t You just

Rescue me today?

What Have I Done To Deserve Praise?

What have I done to deserve praise? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I am no one special. I am no better than you or the next person. Alone, I have no talents. Alone, I have no gifts. Only with Jesus can I be somebody, but even that somebody would be a reflection of He who made me. I am nothing, completely nothing without Jesus. I have no talents, no gifts without Jesus. And so the praise that comes my way can really only be meant for Him.