Crying At His Feet

I know that You can cure me but I don’t know if you will, and that scares me to death. Lord, help me.

I’ve suffered the last three months with what every doctor and radiologist thought was pneumonia. I thought the constant pain in my back and hips were from coughing so much. I thought my difficulty breathing, talking, and singing were from the pneumonia. Sadly, we have learned that is not the case. I have lung cancer.

I won’t lie. It’s hard be positive, to be faithful when your mom died of the same disease just three and a half years ago. Just as in her case, mine has metastized to other areas so that makes it stage 4. I used to work with cancer patients at The American Cancer Society. I know the statistics. I also know we have a God that plays by His own rules. 

I have people around the world praying for a complete healing. For me, that is a hard prayer. Not because I don’t believe it can be done but because so often I have seen Him decide on a different plan. I hope He wants to keep me here so I can be a light onto His people. Only He can make that decision but I have loudly made it known to Him that I want to be healed. 

My life changed instantly the moment I found out, and so did the lives of my family. I’ll likely be discharged from the hospital tomorrow with oxygen and a walker to embark on an unknown and scary path. I will no longer be able to work, and will be filing for disability. I know that God is with me, and I know that He won’t leave me alone to deal as my family and I sort out what this means for our lives now. It’s just going to take some time. 

Your prayers give me strength and hope after I get up from my meltdowns. I need my Christian brothers and sisters to keep lifting us up. Please understand that I’m not able to respond to everyone’s messages but I will read them when I can, when I have the strength, and when I need it the most. 

I love the ministry we have created. I don’t know the end game, what God’s plan is but I will continue to share how God is working in my life, the lessons He is teaching me, and so forth as I am able to. I appreciate every one of you for joining me on this path. I may or may not ever sing again, but remember that salvation is not found in a song. It’s found in Jesus. Don’t waste time on the world when you can run to Him and bow at His feet, relinquishing everything you’ve got. That’s what I’m doing. Crying at His feet. 

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18 thoughts on “Crying At His Feet

  1. I am praying for, shedding tears for your earthly predicment. But there is joy to be with him. You are a blessed child of God. Do not fear for he is with you. He will carry you. Have joy that you are child of God through the blood of Jesus Christ.

  2. Praying for you, Kristeen! I have had metastatic cancer as well. God will guide you as you make treatment decisions- praying for peace and wisdom through it all. I ended up using an alternative treatment called Protocel that was very effective – I also supported my body using nutrition, essential oils, etc. it’s been 9 years since my diagnosis. God is very good!

  3. I’m praying for you dear Kristeen. May God bless and heal you.
    “I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you” 2 Kings 20:5

    1. You’ve sent me encouraging words on Twitter which I very much appreciated. Thank you for caring and I will be praying for you Kristeen.

  4. Hugs and prayers for you. One verse I hold close and I want to share it with you; “For I know that ALL things work together for the good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 I am trusting and believing with you for your physical healing and may you always feel the manifestation of His presence and His singing over you.

  5. Kristeen I love your faith. I pray to our Heavenly Father in your behalf that He will heal you & allow you to continue to be that beckon of light that shines so bright for Him.
    ♡♡♡

  6. my prayers and thoughts are with you, You are a powerful woman of God because God lives in you and you let Him shine thru you. God bless you my sis Kristeen!!!!

  7. Father I pray for Kristeen in the name of Jesus. Father I thank you for her, because she’s your child. I thank you for Jesus because he was dead, and now he’s alive. He shed his blood and overcame death for Kristeen. Jesus is the resurrection and the life. He lives forever and so will Kristeen. Death could not hold Jesus, and death cannot hold Kristeen.

    Father I thank you the plans you have for Kristeen are for good and not for evil. I thank you by the stripes of Jesus she was healed. I thank you that since she was healed, she is healed. In the name of Jesus be healed, be whole.

    Concentrate on Jesus. He is the resurrection and the life. He is bright mornings star. He was, and he is and he is forever more. Amen.

  8. Thank you for speaking of your courage and surrender to God’s sovereignty… Though we do not always understand His plans, be assured that every cell of your body quivers beneath His watchful eye… and the prayers of the righteous can accomplish much. Praying that laughter and larger dreams will yet belong to you. -Abri

    1. My wife had cancer. The process was very difficult. She is cancer free though and remains so after 7 years. Much prayer went up for us of course. We have people in our church who had stage 4 cancer and God healed them. No cancer at all remains. I have had close friends die of the disease as well. I choose to believe for complete healing for you dear sister! Stay courageous and don’t you dare give up!

  9. My heart breaks for you and it makes me feel so selfish when I think your suffering compared to what you are going through mine is nothing.. may Jehovah God and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ give you and your family divine strength and the peace that come from Jesus through His Holy Spirit.. I agree in prayer with you my sister in Christ for your complete healing on this side of the Sunshine.. 😘🤗

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