Mustard Seed Faith

I had a CT scan done last week, and got my results when I saw my oncologist on Wednesday. I was incredibly nervous to find out what was going on with the lesion in my left lung. Back when I was diagnosed last September, it measured approximately 6x6cm (about the size of an egg), and had only shrunk down to 4×4 cm after six rounds of standard chemotherapy.

By standard chemotherapy, I mean using one platinum-based IV drug called carboplatin combined with another kind of chemo called alimta once every three weeks. Carboplatin is very toxic so patients typically only do six rounds, but if you have advanced disease like myself, you may continue using the chemo drug alimta as maintenance therapy. Alimta takes only about 15-20 minutes to get in your system, and is not as harsh on your body.

I was concerned that my lesion wasn’t going to shrink anymore with just the maintenance therapy. All I could hope for was that it didn’t start growing because if that happened, I would move to my last line of defense and try immunotherapy. I technically had already tried one of these drugs (avastin prevents new blood vessels from forming) when I moved to maintenance therapy, but it caused me to be in more pain to the point I needed to start taking pain meds again so I stopped after only two rounds. Having five extra months to live (as the drug promised) was not worth the pain I was going through.

So here I was knowing that I had already said no to one drug that could help prevent any new growths, and I had to face the results of another scan. My husband was with me as he always is for dr visit/chemo days and I think he was a little nervous too. When my doctor came in the room, the first thing he addressed was the good report on the CT scan. No new growth! We were relieved, but as we were trying to find out how big the tumor was now, we were shocked to learn that it wasn’t there.

We didn’t understand what the doctor was saying, not sure we had heard him correctly. We were having him reiterate what he had just said while I was trying to study the report in my lap. He said “there is no measurable mass” in my left lung, the same thing staring back at me in black and white. It had only been six weeks since the last CT scan where the report clearly stated the tumor was 4×4 cm. Somehow, it went from being the size of a walnut to nothing in just two chemo cycles of maintenance therapy.

Now, I know that there is no way that a maintenance drug that only puts 15 minutes of chemo in my body for 2 rounds can make a tumor of that size just disappear when standard chemo with a much stronger drug couldn’t do that in 6 rounds. The math just doesn’t add up. Even the avastin can’t make tumors disappear like that. There was only one explanation. God did that.

I was in shock for quite a bit of that day, not because I didn’t believe God could do it, but because of the amount of favor He poured over me and my situation. Today, I found out that He has done the same thing for another person who had a 11 mm tumor in their left lung and theirs is completely gone now too!

God is definitely still in the business of doing miracles. Things can seem so bleak even when you have faith because you often still don’t know what God’s plan is for your life. We hold on to Him for dear life, praying and hoping that His plans for this life still include us a little bit longer, and it is just pure joy when we finally come to understand His plans for us.

I pray for anyone dealing with a long-term, debilitating illness. There are still plenty of reasons to hope, even if your faith is as small as a mustard seed.

He replied, ‘Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

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15 thoughts on “Mustard Seed Faith

  1. THANK YOU for this. I have a doctor’s appt tomorrow to look at something on my foot and since we don’t have insurance, I’m nervous about what they’ll find. Thank you for the reminder about Whose child I am and that I dont’ need to worry. 🙂

  2. Jesus is called the “word”–he said he’s inside us–wherever we go, we carry him with us!!! I really thank you for putting this out there for me & everybody else to see. I’m facing 3 surgeries (esophagus, intestines, & leg-vein valve). Have 4 grandchildren, I finally sat down out of fear &dread & cried today…so I’m so comforted & encouraged after reading this! Liked your singing video, too. Jesus bless, keep all of ya’ll.(I’m from the south, star City, Arkansas). Ha

    1. Thank you for sharing Vivian. We are all walking these crooked paths together with a narrow mindset on Him. I’m so blessed to be able to share and encourage others with my walk. Only God could give me such purpose. Prayers for your upcoming surgeries 🙏🏻

  3. God bless you Kristeen. I have followed your strory on Twitter. Your story is inspiring and encouraging. Another reminder that God loves us and wants us well. He gave Jesus, He will with Jesus give us all things. By His stripes you are healed. He perfects His work in you.

  4. Praise the Lord! I have prayed for you so often, and have had you on the prayer list at church. Can’t wait to give the good news in church tonight: God has healed you. What a wonderful answer to prayer. My lymphocytic lymphoma is not advanced enough yet for any kind of treatment, according to my oncologist. My husband and I have agreed that, at this stage, we are relying on research and natural remedies: enzyme therapy, immune therapy, and regulation of sugars in my diet. B-cells have doubles since last bloodwork four months ago, but still not a dangerous count. Please keep me in your prayers. Blessings to you.

    1. I will pray for you! In my case, I do still have lesions in my brain but thankfully they are shrinking. I’m still doing treatment and pray that it will keep my disease at bay 🙏🏻

  5. Wow! I am bursting with joy upon reading about your good news!

    You have been such an encouragement to others who are going throught similar trials.

    Thank you for your testimony and giving God the glory.

  6. What a g
    What a merciful God we have! I can wholeheartedly relate to your testimony for l suffered from pneumothorax and had a minor surgery. The following year it resurfaced and was due for a major surgery, but l was scared to death. However, l put my trust in God and was just not ready to go for the surgery.

    The night before its schedule l prayed and prayed and as l was engaging with the Almighty, l felt something moving from my shoulders. I kept on praying and in the morning headed for the hospital.

    You can’t believe what happened there. The surgeon took X-rays and the results were miraculous. He couldn’t believe it himself for he found that the condition was resolving! He told me there’s no way he was putting me under the knife. God’s mercy and favour was upon me. The surgeon confessed that l am a lucky woman.
    Having monthly X-rays thereafter proved it had gone away! I love God our father because He is a God of miracles.

  7. Great post! It doesn’t take much to move a mountain. Despite our human understanding, learning to trust the Lord is an experience. A day to day experience. We just have to remember “If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.” John‬ ‭14:14‬ ‭KJV‬‬ pray and be patient!

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