Peace Can Only Come From Jesus

dove pic

I’ve been quiet lately. There’s always a reason.

I spend so much time just trying to be okay. Just trying to feel okay. You can’t really make your body feel better though even with the pain medicine and other things meant to help you feel better, to help you get through the day. Medicine is just not enough.

My battle lately? Shingles. Starts as a rash and then turns into a ton of blisters that burst and then crust over. It is extremely painful, stressful, and takes weeks to recover. You can learn more about it here. I had it for a good week before we knew what it was.

To make matters worse, I can’t have chemo while recovering from shingles. And with a fast moving cancer, I can feel the difference when I don’t have treatment for a week or two. I’m coughing a lot more which makes mobility difficult. Coughing more means throwing up more. I sat in the car yesterday puking after being stationary for a good thirty minutes. It’s not just moving that causes me to puke more. Needless to say, I am really hoping I am cleared to have chemo next Thursday when I see my doctor again.

But here’s the thing… in the midst of all this suffering, I have peace and am virtually pain free. I can’t explain it. I walked in the doctor’s office last Monday with level 8 pain, barely being able to move without screaming on the inside. I left with pain killers that only toned it down to a level 6-7. So how did I go from that level of pain, to virtually no pain the next day? To the point that I stopped taking pain medicine way too early. The blisters started bursting days later, and yet still no pain.

You have to understand the amount of stress, sorrow, and shock I was under when I found out I had shingles. That I couldn’t get the chemo I desperately need. I went to bed early. My husband went to bed early. It was just all too much for all of us. So what was the turning point?

I prayed that night, and something changed. I wrote that poem and just felt a great release. I felt at peace. That was at 2 o’clock in the morning, and I woke up pain-free. During this whole trial from the beginning of 2017 to now, I haven’t quite felt this level of peace since first getting diagnosed with cancer. It’s also the first time that I have been virtually pain free in an area that doesn’t make sense.

On my own, I can’t do anything. I can’t take away my own pain and I can’t take away my own stress. I just don’t have the power BUT I know the one that does. Peace can only come from Jesus.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.” Psalm 29:11

“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.” 2 Thessalonians 3:16. 

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Peace Can Only Come From Jesus

  1. Amen, dear sister. What kind of cancer do you have? I have non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Last night I discovered some new lumps and they are larger than the ones in other places. I can also feel it in my breasts (those lumps are huge too), but I know that God knew all about this long before I was ever even a thought, and He has my future in His hands. My children are grown; I have six wonderful grandchildren and a new daughter-in-law. I pray the Lord will let me live to see my son’s first child if the Lord chooses to bless them with children. But if not, I know whom I have believed in and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I’ve committed unto Him against that day. May the Lord continue to keep you pain free and fill your heart with peace.

  2. Yes, we will. I am treating my cancer with diet, but I have no young children to care for. I don’t want to spend whatever time I have left being sick. I want to enjoy what’s left of my life, however long that will be. I feel pressure to get so much accomplished, yet I spend so much time playing stupid games on the computer or watching TV. (But I can crochet while I’m watching TV.) I wonder if I’ll finish the books I’ve started to write. But it’s all in God’s hands. I feel good most of the time. Praying for you.

Leave a Reply to lovessiamese Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s