I heard someone say recently that they just want their wife to be “happy, smiling, and joyous.” There are several ways a man can help in that department. For one thing, never call a woman fat. Also, please don’t allude to the possibility that she might be fat. For instance, jokingly asking a girl if she can see her toes will never go over well, not even when she is pregnant. You can ask her if she wants to go for a walk with you. That makes her feel like you want to spend time with her and not like she just needs exercise.
Women need to feel desired, wanted, and loved. In a girl’s mind, being fat never results in those feelings. If anything, it undercuts her self-esteem and makes her question herself. Most if not all women struggle with weight issues, and teasing them about it brings those feelings to the surface. It reminds them that they are not perfect and not where they want to be. You might think that this alone will charge women with making a quick change to turn their bodies into everything they’ve ever dreamed. To the contrary. Women tend to be feelers first and take action second. There won’t be any action if you’re mopping up her tears or staring at her back because now she’s not talking to you.
I know sometimes something just seems too funny to you to pass up on using it as a joke but do me a favor. Step into the shoes of a woman for a moment and ask how you would feel if all of your failures were pointed out and advertised for all to see. Secretly, that’s how women feel about their weight regardless of whether she is fat or skinny. Being beautiful in the eyes of a man is hard work, even after you’re snagged your man.
Kristeen Nicole Gillooly 