I was talking to an older woman at the bus stop today, and the subject of Charleston came up. In regards to the thought of being scared to go to church, she said, “I would rather die in church than in a club shaking my butt. I overcame that.” Her faith is unshakeable. She said, “while the Pastor is praying, we’re supposed to be praying so that the Devil doesn’t come into the church. The Devil doesn’t want us to worship God. He wants us to continue in sin.” Amen! Amen!
The subject of race keeps coming up in regards to the Charleston shooting, and while it may be a factor, I am thankful to hear that this woman, an African-American, is not afraid to walk back in church and praise God openly. She is not afraid to give everything to Him. She expressed no anger in relation to politics or race, but simply blamed sin. God bless her for her insight, her faith, and her prayers for our country.
My husband talked about altar calls recently on his show, Faith Matters. It has really gotten a lot of people thinking and evaluating why they don’t answer the call. Tonight, I started thinking about my own reasons.
I’m scared of going alone. I’m scared of putting myself out there in front of all of these people that I know and don’t know. I’m not afraid of meeting Jesus. Honestly, I think I’m more scared of looking like a fool. Looking like I don’t belong in this world. Looking like I don’t know what I’m doing.
The root of my fear is acceptance, not the acceptance of Jesus but of man. Oh, shy person that I am, why do I run in the other direction when faced with the opportunity to shine? Why do I hide behind my fears instead of running to Jesus with everything that I have?
I talk about Him all the time. I talk TO Him all the time, but faced with the decision to stand on the block with Jesus in front of everyone, or stay seated, I stay comfortable in my fear. Why do I do this? Why have I still not mustered the courage to stand before man openly and choose Jesus? Why can I only seem to muster the courage when I’m behind a computer screen?
I do not have a scarlet letter for all to see but standing up for Jesus in front of the masses feels like one. Where does the embarrassment come from, and what will it take to overcome my shyness and fear?
Stand before the masses. Go before my fears. Stand with Him. Stand beside Him. Stand in front of fear. Maybe that is the secret to alleviating my shyness when I’m on stage performing. If I won’t stand with Him before my congregation, why should He stand with me when I need Him?